Melvin Chiew Photography ©: thoughts after exams

theres nothing i could do after exams to keep me up and going. thus making me bored!! being bored makes me think a lot and i've really been thinking a lot. about my studies, family, future, love, and spiritual life. it seems like everything is falling well in its place for now but i have a really bad feeling that something might go wrong sooner or later..there has been alot of 'what if' questions going on in my head.

advices given by friends are mostly about letting God take care of whatever comes next. but in my opinion, doing nothing for your future will never make your dreams come true. not even God can help you if you don't help yourself.

i've been through ups and downs in my life and mostly down. its only these 2 years i'm trying my best to make my life better. i wonder how much more do i have to do to repay all the bad things i've done, all the disappointments i've caused and all the feelings i've hurt. it seems to be never ending if i really want to correct them all. the time i've wasted is unforgivable (for me at least). i wouldn't be doing diploma now if i put in effort in my past life. but on the other hand i'm really grateful that i ended up in Melbourne and doing my diploma. i'm living a great life with great friends giving me support spiritually and emotionally. my relationship with my family members are alot better. i wonder if this is a little bit too much to receive when i only did so little for my life. i have dreams of doing alot more than what i've done do deserve what i have now. God's grace is indeed powerful. without it i wouldnt have experience my childhood, and without it i wont be writing these stuff on my blog now!!being able to love someone again is wonderful. i thought i could control my emotions but it wasn't easy, promises made by myself were broken and i felt alot better after breaking it.

anyway.. i'll be having workplacement soon in bundoora. i hope it goes smoothly and not hurting myself or others in the process of it!! haha...

wishing all the students out there a happy holiday and those going away a safe trip and a successful future.

here are some crazy and normal photos of adeline who will be leaving melbourne soon back to kuching!!